If you want to listen to the blog post “5 Ways To Deal With Your Emotional Baggage For Good” over reading it just click the play button below.
Why is letting go of baggage so important? This is going to sound random but to illustrate my point of how to get get rid of emotional baggage I have to quote this song from Erykah Badu “BAG LADY”
Lyrics from the song:
Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus; You can’t hurry up, ’cause you got too much stuff
One day he gon’ say you crowding my space; One day he gon’ say you crowding my space so, pack light Pack light,
That is just a really abbreviated version of the song but in case you cannot tell this song is a perfect example of if you are holding on to too much stuff AKA baggage then you are not going to be able to move on and have a functional relationship. AND if you fail to get rid of emotional baggage then it is going to continue to ruin your present and even future relationships.
“Through every relationship or life experience, little deposits have been left in you in the form of baggage”
Some forms of these deposits may come off as neediness, distrust, abandonment issues, and the list goes on and on. I also encourage you to read my blog on how other people’s issues can make you develop your own issues to get a better idea of what I am talking about. And in the words of Eryka Badu if you don’t get rid of emotional baggage the:
Lyrics To The Song
Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus, You can’t hurry up, ’cause you got too much stuff
Your bus can be your man, your future husband, a good relationship and you will surely miss all of that because you have way too much stuff and it is too crowded in your life to make room for a positive relationship because you do not know how to release emotional baggage.
Instead, you keep hanging on to it and you are becoming a bag lady no man wants to deal with. BUT you are so in luck. Now that you know what emotional baggage is, what causes it, and that if you fail to get rid of emotional baggage the danger it can cause. I am going to give you 5 tips on how to release your emotional baggage. You ready, here we go.
Letting go of baggage Tip #1 ~ Learn From The Past
Instead of just being bogged down by the past. If we can learn the valuable lessons a bad relationship has to teach us, we can move forward in a healthier way.
You may, for example, realize your ex had some qualities you never again want to deal with. Once you recognize what you don’t want, it’ll make moving on much, much easier.
If you’ve been through the relationship ringer, then you probably carry around a ton of circulating thoughts. Things like, “What went wrong?” or “Why did he/she do that to me?” (Etc. etc.) But in order to move on, you have to start letting them fade from your brain. In other words, let go of the story you tell yourself.
Letting go of baggage Tip #2 Write a Letter
I cannot tell you how effective this is. Whenever I get pissed off at someone or need to say something to somebody I always write a letter. This could be a letter to your ex, your father who gave you daddy issues, or anyone that you felt has given you some baggage. Don’t send it of course, but the simple fact that you have written a letter to let all of your emotions is a great way to get rid of emotional baggage. According to Bustle:
If you don’t want to say your thoughts out loud, consider writing them down in letter form instead. Get it all out of your head onto paper. Then afterward, put it in a stamped envelope and “FAKE MAIL” it off, knowing that this act is you accepting and letting go of the past and that you are handing this over to God; you are no longer carrying this emotional burden on your own.
Feel free to leave the address blank, if you don’t want your ex to actually read it. You can also tear up the letter, or burn it. “Burning it is … another way to symbolize the surrendering and letting go. Whatever you choose to do, all that matters is that it’s on paper now, and out of your head.
By the way, I have an entire video on daddy issues because so many women struggle with not having a father when growing up or a bad father that they are left with emotional baggage. So what that video below and subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Letting go of baggage Tip #3 ~ Find The Source Of Your Baggage And Then Deal With It
I want to use myself as an example so you can really see what I mean on this one. I am not an emotional person. I do not like sharing my feelings, talking about my feelings, and some of the times I won’t like listening to my man’s feelings either. I used to tell one of my boyfriend’s while he was speaking, that I did not care about what he was talking about and I used to tell him that as he was talking.
Where this Stemmed From
Emotional baggage like this stemmed from me being with men and not being able to trust them with my feelings. When I was in those relationships, I used to get my feelings hurt a lot. So the way I dealt with this was to just detach myself from my feelings and decide not to feel at all. It was easier not to talk about my feelings, not to talk about what was wrong, and not to talk about how hurt I was. That way, in my mind. I can sit and pretend that everything was okay.
How To fix It
According to Tiny Buddha you can find the source of your baggage and deal with it by doing the following:
- Write an honest list of the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that weigh you down.
- Reflect on each item and identify the source of the thought/belief. Travel back in time and see where you picked up these items of baggage. Do you fear intimacy because a partner cheated on you? Do you dread holidays because your parents drank too much? Acknowledge the painful memories but don’t wallow in them.
- Find at least one positive in each hurtful experience/situation. Look for the silver lining in your cloud. For example, my father’s criticism made me aware of the power of words and taught me the importance of speaking with kindness. Looking for the good in the past helps you reclaim your power.
Letting go of baggage Tip #4 ~ Accept It and Move On
With emotional baggage, you have to accept it and move on. If your past relationships or even your parents have caused you pain accept it and move on. It is very likely that you will never get an apology and that they are not sitting around and thinking about what they did to you.
The longer you sit and worry about what they did and wait for them to come through and fix the situation for you the more baggage you are going to accumulate because a lot of times people do not care about the baggage that they created in you and they are not going to try to help you fix it.
According to Mind Body and Green, they say to accept your history and the people that have been a part of your history; accept your circumstances and remember that none of these define you. Acceptance is the first step to letting go and setting yourself free.
I want you to watch my level-up video below in it you will see all of my baggage and how I overcame it.
Letting go of baggage Tip #5 ~ Tell Yourself Something Different
Also known as affirmations. Never underestimate the power of telling yourself something until you start to believe it. When it comes to baggage so many people tell themselves the wrong things and therefore they keep creating baggage in their own life. Well, how about you do the opposite. Tell yourself the right things so that you will start to believe those and therefore transforming your life. Replacing the negative thoughts with more positive ones. Here are some of my favorite affirmations from Self Growth.
* I completely release the past and live in the now.
* I move forward by letting go of the past.
* I choose to forgive myself and others.
* I have a new freedom and a new happiness.
* By forgiving myself and others I am set free.
* By releasing the past, I allow myself to move onward and upward.
Forgiveness has given me back my freedom.
* I am willing to release the past, let go and move forward one day at a time.
* I allow only good memories to inhabit the present.
* I live joyfully in the here and the now.
* I am now beyond my past.
* I am now free to move forward in my life.
* I now liberate my past from my mind, body and affairs. I am free.
* I am willing to let go of my past and take the next right steps in front of me.
* I choose to forgive all others in my life, and they forgive me.
* I easily forgive others and I am easily forgiven.
* I am at peace with my past.
Aside from these affirmations I have an ebook called my Christian Manifestation guide filled with more affirmations and Bible verses to go along with them, just click here to buy and watch the video below for more on what the guide contains.
If you know someone that needs to know how to release emotional baggage then feel free to share this post with them.
And I have something for you single women and it is my book specifically for you, that you can click here to get. And if you are unsure, I want to give you the first few chapters for free because that is how sure I am that you are going to love it. Click here to get it.