To listen to the blog post “Haters Are Going To Hate. So Let Them & Remain Unbothered” over reading it just click the play button down below.
Haters are going to hate but here is how you deal with them. Do you have issues dealing with haters? Well then join the club because we all do. But it is a difference between dealing with haters and actually being phased by haters. You cannot control how people feel about you. Not everyone is going to be happy about your success. Not you’re friends, family, coworkers, and certainly not your enemies (see my blog here on people who bring you down).
Understand that people will hate on you for no reason and remember that even people close to you will be a hater and you cannot change their minds. BUT what you can do is change how you deal with them, how you react to them, and how you allow them to affect you. But before I get into the post, check out my video on how to deal with haters, and click here to subscribe to my channel for more awesome content.
Case in point Haters Are Going To Hate And My Haters:
I remember when I first started my Masters’s program and then my Ph.D. program, most people told me to my face that I was going to fail. And these were my so-called friends. (Also check out my blog on fake friends.)
They would tell me you are a single mom, you’re not going to have enough time. It’s going to be too hard. And then when I started doing well I thought my haters would change their mind. BUT NOPE. It turned into, well so what you are educated. That does not mean anything. It is just a piece of paper. Which is a big lesson about haters you are never going to please them and they are always going to have something to say no matter what you do?
But a point that I want to bring up to you is that no matter how they felt about me and what they said about me here I stand with not only a Master’s degree but a Ph.D. AND I am a National Certified Counselor. Here I stand as a businesswoman and here I stand to do things that MAKE ME happy.
Because that is what it all comes down to. If haters are going to hate and you cannot do anything about them, the only thing you can do is focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. Learning to live your best life, in your own truth, despite the people who are trying to stop you and who are hating on you. This is why I am going to teach you what I learned. The error-proof way in dealing with haters.
Dealing With Haters By Learning Why They Hate
Haters are going to hate and the main reason why people are hating on you is probably out of jealousy (see my blog on jealous people). The fact of the matter is that you are probably doing something they really want to do but they can’t do or won’t do. You also may be the type of person they want to be but they are not. And instead of getting mad at themselves, they find it much easier to get mad at you.
Remember, when I told you all that hate I was getting when I decided to go back and get my Master’s and then my Ph.D. as a single mom?
Most of the hate came from my really close friend at the time who was also a single mom. She has tried to go back to get her bachelor’s degree took one class and then dropped out. Therefore, when I was going back to school she began to resent me instead of resenting herself for the decisions that she had made.
And because she did not have the discipline to finish school she was projecting her own failures on me. And this story is just a prime example of why people are hating on you because deep down they want to hate on themselves.
Haters Are Going To Hate So Get Glad And Not Mad
One reason why I do not get bothered by people hating on me is that I find it flattering. I mean think about it, this person has taken time out of their day, their schedule, and time out of their life that they will never get back just to be worried about you. You should be flattered. In the counseling field, we have something called reframing which is something that I love doing.
Instead of viewing a situation as bad we turn the situation around and try to find a positive among the negatives. And for me, getting flattered is one of them. If someone wants to turn all their attention toward you so much so that they want to hate on you then you must be doing something right. You must be giving them something to pay attention to.
Dealing with haters by keeping it moving
Haters are going to hate BUT NEVER and I repeat NEVER should you get so distracted by a hater that you allow it to throw you off your A-game and off your path. Because throwing you off your game is exactly what a hater wants you to do. When I first started building my brand, writing books, and writing on the wonderful site that you see today; people did not understand it and they made fun of me for it. At first, I may have had 50 readers a month, then 100, then 1000, to now over 60,000 visitors to my blog a month.
Imagine if I just would have listened to them or given up, I would not have what I have now or be doing what I do now. What I am trying to say is to keep looking forward and not looking back. Leave all those people behind you. The best way to deal with a hater is to keep moving forward, reach your goals, and really give them something to hate about.
The worst thing that you can do is to allow your haters to make you give up on your goals and your purpose. Because then they will have an “I told you so moment” and you will be exactly where they want you to be. Nowhere doing a whole bunch of nothing.
Haters Are Going To Hate ~ Stop telling people What You Are Doing.
It is hard for people to hate you if they do not even know what you are doing. Sometimes we run our mouth and we expect people to be happy for us when really we are just giving them ammo to hate on us. Just do you, let your actions and your accomplishments speak for you.
Not your mouth. Every time I made moves in my education, job, and even my business and TOLD people about it expecting them to be happy there were always moments where they would laugh or try to put my decisions down. What I learned is to not talk about it but to be about it. I did not even give the hater a chance to say anything to me because they did not know the moves I was trying to make anyway.
Haters Are Going To Hate ~ Remember what is for you is for you.
Haters are going to hate but as a Christian one thing that I have adopted is what is for me is for me. Therefore, I do not need to get strength or validation from people. And when you pay attention to haters then you are saying to them that they have authority over you and they don’t.
Let God strengthen you to do the things that He called you to do. The keyword here is that God is calling you to do something that He wants you and only you to do. So do you think a bunch of haters is going to get in the way and stop anything that was ordained for you? The only thing that is going to stop you is if you give the haters too much attention and let them stop you.
The bad thing about people who hate on you is that they forget what is for them is for them, and what is for you is for you. Remember my single mom friend who got mad at me for going back to school? That is because going back to school was for me. So I knew that God was going to make a way for me to go and I knew I was not going to fail regardless of what she said. If my friend was more focused on going after what was for her instead of being worried about me then maybe her outcome would be different.
My point here is that too many people including the haters are worried about the WRONG thing. You have your own path to success just like other people have theirs. And it is your responsibility to make sure that you are getting to your success. And it is your responsibility to make sure that you do not let anyone distract you from your success. As long as you are doing what you are supposed to do, you really cannot worry about what other people think about you (read my blog here for more on that).
That may mean that you have to keep your mouth shut and not share things you are trying to do with everyone because they will not be happy for you or even make fun of you for it. Just stay in your own lane and keep succeeding. That is a quick way to shut people up and make believers out of them.
As you get higher in your success, some people might try to come into your space just to get a part of your victory, even if they mocked you before. And sometimes they will hate you and mock you even more. This is why we must know that.
“No one can make you feel less about yourself unless you allow it.”
And if we continue to have faith in what God can do for us, His glory will manifest through us and we will look at all those “haters” in our rearview as we drive toward success. For additional encouragement, check out my video on God deals with your enemies, click here to subscribe to my channel.
If you know someone who could use this information then feel free to share this post with them.
And if you keep finding yourself in a state of failing and you are unable to find your success, then check out my Christian Manifestation Guide with positive affirmations and Bible verses. Haters are gonna hate but you don’t have to let them get to you. Click here to get the guide.